


Birds Flying High

by khleyo



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Anthy Being a Cryptic, Gen, Implied Rape/Non-con, Introspection, Nanami’s Sass, Post-Canon, Reunions, Road Trip, nothing explicit but just in case, this is my first fic so how does this thing work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25170391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khleyo/pseuds/khleyo
Summary: “ Now you know, little girl, what will you do with that information ?I never cared for your hits. I never cared for your insults. They were a child’s weapons. This was nothing I couldn’t take. Now, take a good look, sister.”“I’m not your sister. I’m not like you.”“ Are you sure ?”
Relationships: Himemiya Anthy & Kiryuu Nanami, Kiryuu Touga & Kiryuu Nanami (sort of), implied Himemiya Anthy/Tenjou Utena
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. I may have waited more than six months to post this story I had originally written as a gift to the lovely hoodlesmads for Empty Movement’s Discord Secret Santa, but who cares, right ?   
> I’m finally creating a Ao3’s account, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, and thought that publishing the first story I’ve actually finished was a good start. This is my first complete fic, and my first story in English, so any form of criticism will be appreciated! If I’ve made any English mistake, don’t hesitate to tell me !

« On a wagon bound for market  
there’s a calf with a mournful eye.  
High above her there’s a swallow  
winging swiftly through the sky.

“Stop complaining,” said the farmer,  
“Who told you a calf to be?  
Why don’t you have wings to fly with  
like the swallow so proud and free?”

Calves are easily bound and slaughtered,  
never knowing the reason why.  
But whoever treasures freedom  
like the swallow has learned to fly.

How the winds are laughing!  
They laugh with all their might.  
Laugh and laugh the whole day through,  
and half the summer’s night. »

Donna Donna - Aaron Zeitlin 

« July 27 2001

Dear Diary-turned-Travel-Diary, 

I’m currently lost somewhere in the Chūgoku countryside, sitting at the table of a smelly restaurant owned by a man that should have probably died of old age by this point, my scooter has run out of fuel, I spilled my favourite nail polish in my hotel room this morning and I’m this close to snapping at anyone looking in my direction. Touga was right, as usual. I shouldn’t have left on my own for summer break » 

Wait. No. Scratch the last two sentences. A Kiryuu does not give in to their weaknesses. Nanami still heaves a sigh as she erases the whole paragraph. She was supposed to write about her memorable adventures, travelling on the roads of Japan and taking a break from … everything. Isn’t that what your seventeenth summer was meant to be ? A pure enjoyment of your youth ? Living experiences that you will remember fondly while going through your normal, comfortable and boring adult life ? 

Sore muscles after having pushed her scooter to this poor excuse of a restaurant and a cold tasteless coffee for only company sure don’t fit what she had imagined. What was the point then of almost harassing her parents into letting her go ? 

~  
“Now now, a solitary road trip ? What for, little sister ?”  
“ Maybe I simply feel like it”  
~

She puts her notebook away, and empties the disgusting content of her cup at one gulp. No point in delving too much into her own feelings. It only results in more frustration. 

~  
“ Feel like it, huh ? What a spoiled little princess you make sometimes”  
~

Okay, maybe the old man wasn’t so terrible. He may have had a strong country accent but he was nice enough to indicate a gas station fifteen minutes from here. A smile, some thanks later and Nanami is outside, advancing with the handlebar in her gloved hands and the summer breeze on her face.

~  
“Won’t you feel lonely all on your own ? University students do have breaks too you know, you could have asked me to chaperon you. I would have gladly accepted.”  
“ How considerate of you, big brother.”  
~

Somehow, Nanami can’t feel the tiredness anymore. A peculiar soothing feeling of tranquility has replaced it. She founds herself humming a song whose lyrics she forgot, idly looking at the world surrounding her.  
The road she’s on is slightly elevated, above a valley devoid of fields but covered by deep green woods. Greener than the ones around Ohtori. In the distance, she can distinguish the sea slowly turning reddish as the sun gets closer to the horizon. The young girl stops a second, humming a last verse. She wishes she could fill her whole brain with this view.  
She’s been in Ohtori for too long, hasn’t she ? It seems she had forgotten how stunning the simplicity of the outside world could be.

~  
“What’s the matter, Nanami ? Don’t you want to spend the summer with your family or your friends ? I feel like you’ve been distancing yourself lately. “  
~

Alone isn’t lonely. Lonely is staying within the sophisticated walls of their mansion, welcoming passively her parents’ faceless guests, as lively as the portraits haunting their cold corridors. Lonely is when the vacations end and she now has to repeat the same routine in this sinister school, the same masquerades over and over and over and -

~  
“ Sure, play dumb. When was the last time you came home to spend some time with us ? You hate this place as much as I do.”  
“ You must be tired after your exams week, you’re starting to spit gibberish. How could the queen of Ohtori be unhappy ? You’ve got your minions and your admirers. That’s all you’ve ever needed Nanami, you’ve always had simple desires”  
~

Ah, yes. Finally the gas station. She can hear her baby purring and getting ready to take the road again.

~  
When did I stop liking playing queen ? When did I decide their eyes set on me, driven by fear or admiration weren’t enough anymore ? When did I turn away from him ?  
…  
Silly Nanami, you know when.  
~ 

Even her scooter’s radio appears to be magically working again, despite having been broken for most of the trip. Weird, but she’s not complaining. “Feeling Good” is blasting at full volume and Nanami speeds on the road that is hers to take. Not a soul around to bother her. She couldn’t feel more content right now. 

~  
There are two secret ingredients to any revolution. The keys that open the door of change, whose possession is essential to the success of this kind of operation : breaking down illusions and willpower.  
How sweet can illusions be though. The world is such a hard place, such a cold environment, illusions ease your pain, singing soft lullabies that get stuck in your mind. And without realizing it, these lullabies become your mantras.  
There’s nothing strange with your brother spending so much time in your father’s office.  
Nothing weird with the marks on his body.  
Nothing abnormal with him crying in his bed, when he thinks you can’t hear him.  
Of course you are the most important person in your brother’s life, since he is in yours.  
Naturally he’ll never play with you the way he plays with all these girls.  
He respects you. He will never hurt you. He loves you. They all do. That’s why you have to torment all these students. To assure the respect you rightfully deserve. To stay the beautiful princess you have to be. Because your worth comes from their attention and their love. That’s how it works.  
And then it all shatters.  
~

After an hour on the regional road she finally reaches her destination, Onomichi. A touristic port, mostly known for its ancient temples, resting on its verdant hills. Nanami wanders a moment in its calm streets, taking in the sights. Shit, she forgot to make a reservation for the night. Oh well, surely she’ll end up finding -

Miaow

~  
The Witness has such a complicated role. They are exterior to the scene occurring yet Fate or Chance cruelly push them towards it, tainting them with the knowledge of the crime they just assisted to.  
Soulless emerald eyes, looking through her skin. The Bride is naked, vulnerable, usable and throwable. She is no princess at the moment, maybe she never was. She’s a soiled witch. But you can hear her warning in these few seconds you stay paralyzed in front of their sin, of her sin : “ Now you know, little girl, what will you do with that information ?  
I never cared for your hits. I never cared for your insults. They were a child’s weapons. This was nothing I couldn’t take. Now, take a good look, sister.”  
“I’m not your sister. I’m not like you.”  
“ Are you sure ?”  
~

Nanami could have sworn she heard it. No, it’s not coming from a box she’s carrying under the rain but from the corner of the street. Almost imperceptible. Had she been driving faster she would have missed it. She can see it now. By a street lamp, a kitten meows in pain.  
She should probably leave. It’s none of her business after all, but here lies this brown kitten with a white neck, resting against this lamp, shaking, and with what seems to be a broken paw.  
She’s tempted to go. Extremely tempted. Yet she stops her scooter next to it and bends to look at it. The animal stops quivering for a second, raises its little head and stares at her. 

In the animal shelter she works in, a young purple-haired woman suddenly stops drinking the tea she’d just prepared. She looks at Onomichi through her window and smiles her strange smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Water drops hit the windows of the shelter with an increasing intensity. Summer is well installed and so are its usual storms.

“The rain has started pouring, how unfortunate”

As she tends to a sick parrot, Anthy thinks about her visitor to come and hopes the latter won’t get sick. The clock above the entrance indicates that it will be 8.30 pm soon enough and except for her boss, their animals and herself the shelter is empty. Abe Mamoru finally gets out of his office, down the corridor, and waves at Anthy as he leaves.

“It’s my daughter’s birthday today, so I better not come home too late… You don’t mind closing the shelter on your own, do you?”  
“ Not at all, Abe-sama. Go ahead, and say hi to your daughter on my behalf !”  
“ You’re such a sweet girl, Anthy-chan. Anyway, see you tomorrow or call me if there’s any problem !”

The bells ring one last time as he closes the door behind him .  
Anthy has only been working here for a few months but the owner of the shelter quickly came to trust this peculiar girl. Perhaps because welcoming those who have no one is part of his job.  
Deep in thought, she doesn’t notice she’s stopped caressing the parrot’s red feathers. The bird reminds her of it by playfully biting her index finger. Anthy barely felt anything, but she feigns annoyance.

“ Now now, Akane ! Is this how I’ve raised you ? How possessive you can be, Utena might get jealous.”

At the same time, she hears the entrance’s bells. And when she looks up, it’s a soaked young girl - no, a young woman - with wavy blond hair put in a ponytail, hiding a frightened kitten under her blue jeans jacket, that appears before her.  
The newcomer’s purple eyes widen in shock. Her mouth opens but the words won’t come out.  
Anthy can’t help it and lets out a faint laughter while putting Akane in her cage, in the birds section.

“ Isn’t it a small world we live in, Nanami-san ?”

Oh no, here comes that attitude Nanami loathed so much. Detachment, false innocence, and this knowing smile, as if this girl was already three steps ahead of you.

“ The hell are you doing here ?!”  
“ I work here, Nanami-san, I thought it was obvious.”  
“ Don’t play smart with me, you’re telling me the two of us crossing paths after all these years is a coincidence ?”

Anthy calmly gets back behind the counter, directly facing Nanami, before answering.

“What else but a coincidence could it possibly be ?”

The only thing Nanami can do right now is sigh. Her thirteen years old self would have probably slapped her or shaken her to get some reaction, anything, out of her. But what for, really ? Besides, she can see, or rather feel, that this isn’t the same Himemiya Anthy she could so easily bully.  
She may have the same sickeningly sweet smile, but her eyes shine with a different light. The veil that used to hide her soul from spectators’ intrigued eyes is gone now. There is still a form of distance in them, specific to someone having witnessed things mortals would be terrified of looking at, but they don’t avoid confrontation anymore.  
On the contrary, they’ve become unapologetically piercing and direct. It’s almost hard not to look away. She stands straight, and appears taller than she did years ago, which Nanami isn’t sure is linked to puberty. Her tranquility exults a sort of calm and authentic confidence, while it used to only inspire submission. 

“I see you didn’t come alone.”

Nanami blinks twice and suddenly remembers the purpose of her visit. At this moment, the kitten sticks its curious snout out of her jacket, staring at the stranger.

“ Oh, right, well I met this little guy outside, by a street lamp. It looked like it couldn’t move because of a broken paw or something like that. So I figured I should probably go to an animal shelter, or wherever you’re supposed to go for that kind of stuff, and people indicated this place to me.”  
“ You did well.”  
“ Of course I did.” 

God, will she ever stop with this creepy cryptic smile ?  
Nanami then hands her the injured kitten, fitting entirely within her two hands. Anthy passes a smooth hand over the paw, and tries to move it, as the poor animal whimpers.

“We will still need to perform an X-ray, but it does seem like your analysis was correct. I see no collar or no number written on any of her ears so she’s probably a stray cat. How sad. My guess is that she fell from somewhere too high for her little body.” 

Nanami takes a look at that little thing between Anthy’s hands. The cat seems a bit more comforted and purrs when she caresses her with her delicate fingers. Nanami still feels bad for it, well, her, though. 

“ She was lucky that you stumbled upon her.”  
“ Yeah, lucky, as you say… okay what are you smiling for ?”  
“ My my, can’t I smile now, Nanami-san?”  
“ Someone should tell you that, smiling like that, you look like a psycho half of the time !”  
“ I am simply surprised and glad to see you here.” 

Anthy doesn’t wait for her response. She walks down the corridor and opens the closest door. Annoyed and unsure of what to do next, Nanami opts for following her.  
This is a rather small shelter, hence their rather limited equipment but it at least seems efficient, from what the blonde can tell. She leans on the doorway, arms crossed, and observes the mystery that is Anthy to her. Anthy cradles the kitten a moment, before putting her on a table. She then takes the broken paw in her hand and proceeds to apply a bandage around it.

“ Didn’t you say you needed to do an X-Ray first ?”  
“ I’m just a trainee, my colleagues already left and my boss was in a hurry, so I was only meant to stay to close the shelter. It’s too late for any radiography anyway and I am not abilitated yet to conduct one on my own. Would you mind holding her and waiting for me outside ?” She adds as she already gives the little cat to Nanami.  
“ O-okay but what am I supposed to do with it, I mean her, next ?”  
“ Don’t worry, I will take her with me to my apartment and we will deal with her injured paw tomorrow. I know Utena won’t mind.”

One name and Nanami freezes. Tenjou Utena. She stays still a few seconds, Anthy gone to do whatever she needed to do, before finally exiting the shelter. Lucky for her, the rain has stopped.  
What a fucked up evening though.

It takes Anthy a few minutes to turn off all their devices and quickly check on all the animals. Not enough however for Nanami to clear out the mess that is her head right now. She knew Anthy had left on her own - had she not witnessed that scene she would have been extremely puzzled as to why. But Utena just … disappeared out of nowhere.  
Nanami wasn’t blind. She could see their dear chairman was convinced they had all forgotten about her. Well, her acquaintances may have, but all the people she impacted could never, even if they wanted to. When it became clear that she was gone and would never come back, she became a sort of taboo, especially for her brother. Her name was banned from any conversation Touga and she had.  
She won’t lie, she may have thought Akio had killed her, simply because she would have never left Anthy behind.  
Speak of the devil, she finally heads out of the shelter and locks the entrance door.

“ Thanks a lot” She says, as Nanami lets her take the cat in her arms. “ It was nice of you.”  
“ To wait for you ? Or to come at all to the shelter ?”  
“ Both, of course.”  
“ Ah, you didn’t think I could do that sort of selfless thing, did you ?”  
“ Not the Nanami I used to know, clearly” Anthy answers with a teasing smile.

Ouch. She can’t say she didn’t deserve that. For a moment, she doesn’t really know what to say, and looks away, at the sea. Seeing her so confident, what a striking contrast to the person she used to be. There is more than that. She seems at peace. At peace with herself. She’s not naked, vulnerable, usable and throwable anymore. How strange, Nanami can feel a bitter feeling settling in her throat. Were she more honest with herself, she would understand that it is envy. Not jealousy, but a sad envy, something similar to admiration. Anthy has reached the end of her journey of self-discovery, while Nanami has just started it.  
They both stay silent, the city seems to be already sleeping. The oldest girl is the one who breaks the spell.

“ Nanami, there is no need to beat yourself over your past. You may not have realised it at the time but … I did my share of bad things to you too.”  
“ You did now ?” The youngest asks in disbelief. She appreciates the intention but she doesn’t really see how the poor victim that Anthy was could have hurt anyone.  
It’s Anthy’s turn to look away, embarrassed. It’s something the old Anthy would have never done. Nanami is getting really intrigued.  
“ It is a rather long story. But if you would like to we could talk about it at my home. Utena would be glad to see you after all this time, and it’s not like you have anywhere else to spend the night.”  
“ That’s, huh, a kind offer but I’m not sure - wait, wait a moment, how did you know that ?! I’m sure I didn’t tell you !”

Anthy simply shrugs, with the same knowing little smile. 

“ I am quite perceptive.”  
“ That’s bullshit, I don’t buy that ! Also, how come Utena is at your place ? Everyone thought that girl was dead !”  
“ If you really want to know, you should come with me. Our sofa is very comfortable.”  
“ This sounds like a trap.”  
“ You wound me, Nanami-san. Won’t you trust an old schoolmate ?”  
“ As if you were like any schoolmate !”  
“ You don’t sound that excited to sleep at my place. Oh well, I hope the hotels nearby still have some vacant rooms left. It’s quite late though, I’m not so sure about that …”  
“Fine ! I’m coming ! But only because I won’t sleep at night if I don’t understand this shady business around you two weirdos.”  
“ Perfect ! I’m sure this sleepover will be much better than the last one we had.” 

Nanami doesn’t have the time to retort anything, Anthy has already turned around, probably heading to her place. She doesn’t even check if Nanami is following her, she knows, somehow, that she will.  
Nanami heaves a sigh for the umpteenth time today, and pushes her scooter to walk by this strange girl’s side. Who knows ? Her journey just might have taken a not so bad turn.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos to anyone who guesses what inspired the title


End file.
